I’ve spent months sulking over what it feels, I’ve lost. “Why would God afford me such joy and peace, to allow it to be snatched from me?!” I would ask. Tonight it became very clear, that I had been focused on what I had lost, that I forgot what I had. I forgot that the last year had been one of the best of my life. I forgot that it was year of firsts, and that the prayer I prayed for 9 years had been answered. Sure I never saw it playing out like this, but it happened. I lived pure bliss.
Read MoreI had a conversation a month or so ago that didn't quite go the way that I expected it to. As a matter of fact it hasn't quite fit into any of 67634 scenarios I imagined. Maybe because the conversation isn't complete, which sounds bonkers because it's been closer to two months since we sat down. Something happened though that I didn't expect, and it shook me to my core: I went numb. I couldn't feel any of my emotions. It was weird at first but it soon became unnerving because I was knocking a number of milestones off my list but I couldn't recall how I felt in those spaces because I didn't feel. Everything was bleh, which made the experiences inexperienced. I was there I did them, the honors were conferred to me but I missed them.
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