Love is a choice


Not a secondhand emotion, nor is it simply defined by chemical reaction. No desire can come from the oxytoxicin your body releases for being around someone who is a check mark on your list, but to love is a concious decision. No we don't choose with whom our bodies find themselves drawn too like the ocean is drawn to the moon at high tide. We make a choice to allow ourselves to be loved. To pocket the deafening screams of shame, and place vulnerability on display, in hopes that someone too, might love you. Love though is not driven by the reciprocations of a beauty wrapped in gorgeous skin, no love gives in spite of. Love pours itself out not that it might be caught but that it may be received. 

 Love not because you feel empty and desire to be filled, but love because you long to fill another. Decide to give when it may not be given back. Decide to show your whole heart, because when we hide, we can't be embraced. Leave room for yourself to be you, what does it benefit you, to be loved when the one that is loved is not you, but a mere fascade. 

 Don't love because you have butterflies, but rather love because of the riches that no one can see deep inside of them. Love not because they make you feel special, but because God is love, and when we love the way God commands us it creates desire, and the things that we long for. So if you've been to Sunday school one or twice I'm sure you've heard that what 1 Corinthians has to say about love, but here is what it's really saying. 


  1. Love is patient. Love doesn't get upset because they move to slow. Love doesn't get upset because they are hard to get (or maybe playing hard to get). This one is so hard for me because I am like a laser. I love quick, think quick, and act quickly. When I'm with those who don't, it often frustrates me in ways I'm embarrased to admit. Love however waits, patiently no matter how much quicker it can be done. Love isn't flustered, because we should be done already. Love sits and waits because it understands that there is beauty in the wait.
  2. Love is kind. Love goes out of its ways to serve the ones we say we love. Love sends messages of sincerity just to brighten one's day. Love washes dishes when it's not even our turn because love seeks to serve and not be served. Love seeks the wellbeing of others above itself.
  3. Love does not envy. Love doesn't get upset because their partner seems to have the better end of the deal in the relationship. Love isn't mad because their spouse isn't like Tom's wife (who seems to be superhuman). No love has learned to be content with what it's been served. Love embraces the unique situation that has its name written all over it. 
  4. It does not boast. Love doesn't say, "I do this, this and this...check me out. What do you do." Love doesn't need to be patted on the back because of its accomplishments. 
  5. Love is not proud. Love can say I'm sorry. Love doesn't have to have an inflated head to feel worth. Love doesn't let ego keep itself from doing the right thing.
  6.  Love does not dishonor others. Love isn't quick to embarrass people or to call them on their mess. Love isn't excited when people get in compromising situations, instead it is quick to make sure they can reconcile their honor. 
  7. Love is not self-seeking. Love isn't concerned with the, "What's in it for me?" Love is concerned with making her needs your own. Love says, "What can I do to make your life easier?" It is so easy to be concerned with our own needs because we come into the world as babies where we are waited on hand and foot because we can't do anything for ourselves. Our instinct becomes to tend to our own needs, and to expect for others to do the same. Love is the contrary, it seeks first the wellbeing of the other party. 
  8. Love is not easily angered. Love seeks first to understand and later to be understood. Love isn't quick to assume, and it takes a few minutes to breathe before it flies off the handle.
  9. Love does not delight in evil. Love doesn't cheerlead wrong doing. It's important to support those you love, but love doesn't support a downward spiral. 
  10. Love delights in truth. Love is excited by what's real. Love accepts truth even when it pierces, and when it is unpopular.
  11. Love alway protects. Love creates a protective mechanism (So much so I took up Jujitsu in addition to my Karate background). Love protects not only physically but emotionally and mentally. Love becomes a buffer. Love also protects spiritually. If you love someone you're probably going to be praying circles around them
  12. Love never fails. Love doesn't give up or give in, it remains patient and it endures even when it looks as if hope is lost. Love prevails.

When we approach love through the lens that love is is a choice and a job that we must clock into everyday the benefits of desire and feeling belonging will fall into line. Love isn't about 50/50 it is you giving everything you have every single day. Love isn't an emotion it's a job, but I am convinced it is worth it!