Fulfilled Tip #3 - Love has nothing to do with looks.
Love is sustained in the mysteries you solve together
We spend so much time trying to traverse this dating world. I know that atleast once a day I express how fustrating it is to me. The way I am set up, I just want speak truth. In a perfect world, dating would look like this for me would look this:
I don't understand why we beat around the bush so much, and why we have to play so many game to get to a place that we both inevitably would like to arrive at. I suppose that is neither here nor there. The point is that while physical attraction is what will grab you, it won't keep you. It is hard to think about being with someone who is grosly unattractive, but I'm learnignt that the relationships that didn't come from first sight attraction, but gradual friendship, have yielded the most fruit.
Love has nothing to do with looks, but everything to do with time, trust, and interest. Now attraction has everything to do wih looks, but what attracted you is not going to sustain you (most days). Of course there are few a few of us ( I mean a very minute percentage) who could care less about a potential partner's presentation to the world. Most of us are drawn in by some surface level attraction or ideal that we find attractive.
The people I have come to cherish most in this world, have come from a multiplicity of encounters, that caused them grow on me. Every relationship (both romantic or platonic) that was a knee jerk reaction to anything was a mistake, and I'm not ashamed to tell it. As time becomes your teacher you begin to see what is real and what's infatuation, whats lusgt and what's love, whats opportunity to capitilize or opportunity to grow. As time continues to become your professor, you you see them in different seasons that can tip your scales toward trust or distrust.
I am very black in white in my thinking, and so most of the time, I'm either completely interested in you or I am not. The more I am interested typically comes with the more I know about you. Conversely if I am not interested after a while it is typically because of all that I know about you. I have a lot of friends who are phenomenal friends but we could never date, because I know too much about them. What I know tells me that we couldn't work. However, there is remnant (by remnant I mean like one (I know that's terrible)) that I have learned more and more about, and that has only caused me to admire and adore them all the more.
Love has nothing to do with looks, but everything to do with time, trust, and interest. You can't rush it, you can't really outwit it (I've tried.) You just have to trust the process. Trust your gut, but don't get caught up on what you see all the time, because there could be unsearchable riches buried down inside of someone you would never think to give a second thought.