Unrequited Love: Self inflicted torture
I am willing to bet that at some time or another we have all experienced some degree of unrequited love. We have grown to fancy someone and they just can't see us the way that we see them. We try to dress it up and hang in there until they come their senses and realize just how much of a catch we really are. Only thing is after months weeks and years, they have lived their lives and our lives are still circling around theirs in hopes that they will return with heart full of love toward us. Sometimes it happens, but most of the time we waste large sums of the precious commodity time, waiting on something that doesnt want us. Sucks right? I am a hopeless romantic. Large parts of me believe that the tides will turn, and they will wake up one morning and see me the way I see them.
What's incredibly unerving is that unrequited love easilly turns into worship without us even realizing. You may be thinking,
Sure you may not pray to them, or bow to them. But they captivate the bulk of your thoughts and actions. You spend hours looking at their social media, and planning your day in hopes you might run in to them. You rehearse the conversations you might have one day. Without ever noticing that have gone from being the object of your affection to being the object of your devotion. It gets dangerous here because now they claim the number one spot that ought to belong to God. So not only is God competing for your time, but he's compteing with someone who doesn't want you, or love you. Awful right? I know it is. Its so easy to fall in the trap.We start out with God in the number one spot. Somewhere along the road we get off, and the longer we wait on them to see us, th more we focus on getting them to take a deeper look at who we are.
Here's my advice if you find yourself in love with someone who doesn't love you (yes, I know that you don't want anyone else):
- Focus on your walk with God. Up until this time, I can almost guarantee that you neglected God in some form or fashion. All through out scripture makes it known that if you will focus on him, he will give you the things you desire. If it is love you're seeking, focus on loving God, and he'll prime you to love and be loved by the person he has for you.
- Focus on you. I know that they are carouselling through your mind, but this an opportunity to cater to you. When we are focused on others we tend to neglect our wants, and our more complex needs. When it's just you, you can be selfish, and take the trip, by the toy or decide not to go out.
- Let Go of them. This doesn't mean that they won't come back or that they aren't the one, it just means that this is not the time, or some factor isn't right. When you let go of them, you're telling God that what ever he does, you trust him. When you truly trust God, the best is truly yet to come. Plus; Love won't return void, so if this the one, they will be back. When they return it will knock you off your feet.
Yes love doesn't quit, but in order to make this work, you need to focus your love toward God and yourself. It doesn't hurt to take solace in the fact that God knows exactly what you want and need, so why worry? But don't be like me and wast a multiplicity of years desiring people who don't want me. I'm not saying to lower your standards, I am saying, that when you focus inward and upward, God can bless you beyond your wildest imagination.