Unrequited Love: Let them leave!
“Love is a 2 way street. If you’re the only one driving get out of the car!”
One of the most frustrating things I have to deal with mentally is the fact that everything you admire or desire isn’t going to admire or desire you, no matter how great of a catch you are.
One day I was talking about relationship frustrations to a friend that I also counsel, and she said, “You know all the tricks of the trade, why don’t you just make them fall in love with you.” Truth is, I’ve been there and done that. The problem is forced allegiance isn’t love. Love is free expression garnered toward someone out of your own freewill not manipulation. Call me what you will but I want someone who loves me for me, just as I love them for them. There is not any lasting value in having someone is only allegiant to you. As a matter of fact, out of personal preference, I prefer to have someone who will tell me no sometimes. Every now and again I need someone who has the gall to pop my bubble so that this big head doesn't get any bigger.
So what happens when you’re convinced that this one is different? What happens when there is no one else in the world that you want to spend your life with but you’re not sure they feel the same? Or you’re not sure they know how to love. How do you have the strength to love the most? Even when it may mean they don’t know if they can handle loving you. Hold on to this truth: Love will not return void. Let them leave, give them space, let them breathe. If it’s meant to be they will come back, and when they return it will be better than before. Sometimes in order for things to work we must trust the process, and often that means we have to wait for the things we desire. In the mean time focus on strengthening your walk with Christ and making yourself healthy. Either Prince Charming will return or a new better Prince Charming will appear. You can't make someone love you, but you can allow your absence to be felt. If they feel your absence and miss it, they will do the work to earn your presence.
You're worth so much more than being slung around by people who see you as an option and not the only one. I know your heart has eyes only for them, and you don't desire anyone else (story of my life) but you're also worthy of the same love and devotion that you give. Trust the Process. Love won't return void. If it does it isn't love.